Every January, the same question quietly returns: “What do I want to change this year?”
For some, it’s exercising more or eating differently. For others, it’s starting therapy, leaving a toxic relationship, or finally addressing the things they kept avoiding last year.
We often talk about motivation as the starting point for change, but motivation alone has never been enough. What actually creates change is commitment, and commitment isn’t a single decision. It’s layered.
I learned this long before I became a therapist - through running. I’ve run seven half-marathons, and during my time as a communications consultant, I founded a running group, which at its peak had close to 50 members. We trained together and participated in several races, including the CIBC Run for the Cure to raise money for cancer research.
What running taught me is that real change doesn’t happen because the calendar flips to January 1st. It happens because we move through layers of commitment, each one building on the last.
And these same layers of commitment apply whether you’re starting:
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a new exercise routine
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a dietary change
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a hobby or creative pursuit
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or therapy
Let’s break down the 10 layers of commitment that turn intention into real, lasting change.
The 10 Layers of Commitment
Every change begins as a thought.
Maybe it’s sparked by an article, a conversation, a diagnosis, or the realization that last year’s coping strategies aren’t sustainable anymore. New Year’s resolutions often grow out of this desire for a clean slate, whether that’s repairing mental health, addressing burnout, or undoing habits that slowly crept in over time.
This layer matters, but it’s also the easiest. It doesn’t yet require measurable action or commitment, and thinking about change can feel productive, even when nothing has shifted yet.
Next, your curiosity naturally leads to information-gathering.
You read about training plans, diets, or different therapy approaches. You compare philosophies, credentials, and costs.
This step is important because it helps shape expectations and reduces fear of the unknown. But it’s also where many people stall, not because they lack interest, but because information can feel like action. It isn’t.
This is one of the biggest leaps.
You email a therapist.
You contact a trainer or gym.
You ask about a program, a class, or a membership.
This step requires vulnerability and admitting you want help and don’t yet know what that help should look like.
Many people underestimate how much courage this step takes.
4: The First Conversation (Fit Matters)
Then comes the initial meeting.
You talk about goals.
You ask questions.
You assess whether this person or approach feels right.
In both fitness and therapy, progress depends on trust. A good fit isn’t about perfection; it’s about felt safety, collaboration, and being understood.
This is where intention turns into action and where the idea of change becomes real.
You book sessions.
You sign up.
You pay.
Something shifts internally when commitment becomes tangible. Now, there’s accountability, momentum, and a clear sense that there is something, and someone, to show up for.
6: Honesty About Your Starting Point
Change only works when it’s grounded in reality, but this layer can be particularly uncomfortable for many.
In exercise, that means being honest about injuries, health history, and conditioning, but also about real-life constraints. A goal of early-morning workouts sounds motivating—until you factor in that you’ve never been a morning person, or you start work early every day.
When goals ignore context, they tend to collapse before change has a chance to take root.
In therapy, it means openness about symptoms, relationships, family history, coping strategies, and patterns you may feel ashamed to name, along with practical barriers like time, energy, emotional bandwidth, or readiness to go deeper.
Without this honesty, progress rests on unstable ground. The framework of a house isn’t visible once the walls go up, but it determines whether anything built on top can last. When the foundation reflects reality, change becomes possible and sustainable.
7: Showing Up Consistently
This is where commitment is tested.
Not just when motivation is high.
Not just when progress is visible.
This is where people learn that discomfort isn’t failure; it’s information. Growth often involves tolerating challenges and uncertainty long enough for adaptation to occur. That doesn’t mean ignoring pain or warning signs; it means learning to differentiate productive discomfort from signals that something needs to be adjusted or paused.
In both running and therapy, progress often feels uncomfortable before it feels relieving.
Consistency isn’t about forcing yourself forward; it’s about staying engaged, listening to your body and mind, and making small adjustments along the way.
8: The Work Between Sessions
This is where change accelerates.
Runners training for a race don’t just do their first run and then show up on race day expecting to do their best. Real progress comes from the work done in between: building mileage gradually, paying attention to form, adjusting pace, recovering properly, and practicing consistently.
Similarly, therapy doesn’t work if insights stay in the session. Growth comes from applying what you’re learning in real life, including: reflecting, practicing new responses when it matters most, and tolerating discomfort long enough for something new to emerge.
In both running and therapy, the real growth happens in the work you do between structured sessions, not just during them.
9: Supporting the Goal Holistically
Supporting change holistically also means adjusting goals to fit real life, not forcing life to bend around the goal.
When I trained for half-marathons, running wasn’t the only variable.
Sleep, nutrition, hydration, stretching, cross-training, rest days, and injury prevention all mattered. Progress depended on realistic pacing, scaffolded distances, and the willingness to adjust when something wasn’t working. And a good dose of self-compassion was required when I needed time off; I had to learn that recovery wasn’t a setback; it was part of the training.
Therapy is no different. Sustainable mental health change rarely comes from insight alone. It often requires shifts in daily routines, boundaries, relationships, and how the nervous system is supported outside the therapy room.
This can be attained through rest, practicing regulation skills, and making thoughtful choices about where and with whom you invest your emotional energy.
Just as a runner adapts their training to prevent injury and support longevity, therapy asks for parallel adjustments in life so that growth is not only possible, but sustainable.
Key Takeaway: Change Isn’t Linear—It’s Built in Layers
Most people don’t struggle because they lack motivation or because change is hard. It’s because they underestimate how many layers meaningful change requires.
Whether your goal this year is exercising, changing how you eat, lifting weights, or starting therapy, the question isn’t: “Why is this so hard?”
It’s: “Which layer am I in—and what needs adjusting to support the next one?”
That shift—from self-judgment to curiosity—is often where real change begins.
